S'mores Tarts

Molly's mom bought me a box of S'mores Pop Tarts.

They are delicious.

I will not eat any other Pop Tart. Nope, not cinnamon, raspberry, blueberry, swirls, reindeer, no.

Only S'mores.

Why you might ask? Perhaps you want to know why? You inquired- something along the lines of- why?

Perhaps because S'mores Pop Tarts only contain organically farmed S'mores- thats right- no GMS'mores. Only the finest S'mores are S'mored from the S'more tree, and then shucked by virgins.

For real this time.

With one pastry, I get so many helpful vitamins. For example, with just one pastry, I get 10% of my daily value of riboflavin, folic acid, iron, thiamin, niacin. Not to mention the heavy hitters such as Vitamin B6. To double the impact, I lift weights while I eat S'mores.

S'mores are even accepted at the poker tables of the MGM Grand.

But don't take my word for it, pick it up at your local library, I mean grocery store. Thanks Levar. De de deehhhh.

The Buzz

So I sat down and waited. Waited for the sheers to graze my scalp. Waited for the images of my life to flash before my eyes. But it wasn't coming. What was taking so long?

Snip.

A flury of clippings.

And then it was over, as swiftly as it came, gone before I could even let out a startled shriek.

My signature hair is gone. Gone with the clippings of a reckless barber. Not the barber I've gone to since 3rd grade. No. Eric would never butcher a canvas. But, a new barber would, and did.

Today I said to myself, "David, you're not going to get your haircut in the same place your entire life, its time to branch out and trust another set of scissors".

So I went against a bond that I shared for so many years. A special kind of bond. A barber bond.

And now I sit, wallowing in the misfortune of poor judgement. Call me Bennedict Arnold. But please, don't tell Eric.

Before

After

Put a Spring in your Leap!

wait oh sorry oh geez hang on just a sec oh my godddd oh thats better there we go ah thats it

Sorry, I forgot how to work this thing. It has been awhile.

Well the sun is shining, and the birds are chirping. Spring is coming- and you know what that means... SPRING CATALOGUES!

I LOVE SPRING CATALOGUES! ALWAYS SO EXCITING!

Check out MY NEW spring catalogue, pick it up at your local ShopperSave.

NEW! FABULOUS SPRING IDEAS! 4 UR HOME 4 CHEAP!

~ Landscapes - The newest thing this year is landscaping; how much can you dig to make it look good? You want grass? Replace it with plush carpet this year! Flowers a little wilted? Spring critics agree: "Buy horses instead!"

~ Clothing - For our Fun Bundles of Spring Sweepstakes, one lucky reader will get to take home a brand new wristwatch that can compute where astronauts are at this very minute! Great family gift idea! Comes in plush, regular, and hair.

~ Dating - Tired of Hating Boys? Whats new for Spring? Tell your boyfriend how you feel- the sexy way! (p.g. 10) Get a new mascara saber + 10 tips for sharpening your root folicles! (p.g. 432). Daphodils? Are they your fav? Take our exclusive poll! (p.g. 2A)


*