Die Flipper
There is a certain fish who missed out on the meaning of THANKSgiving.
Joe- my roomate- took Flipper home with him for the holiday. Sources say that the damn fish just yapped about how unhappy he was. How awful I am. How he wants plush toys.
How is bowl isn't pristine.
How the poker chips- that I gave him- were too slimy.
How I neglect him and don't play with him.
How I don't give him gourmet treats.
How my breath stinks in the morning.
How my face looks.
He's still living at Joe's house, where I hope he'll suffer. I don't want to see his filth anymore. I talked to my lawyers about a restraining order. I even said hateful things. I turned my face away. You'll never see him here, ever again.
Good riddance.
posted by Dave Swift @ 11:55 PM
6 comments
6 Comments:
great post man-the best yet-I laughed my ass off...plush toys...lol
David Swift...you might possibly be the coolest guy i've met in a while...your wit and style is like no other - truly unique. I am proud to know you and call myself your friend. we must chill more - remember, my place is always open for an escape if you need it --- Justin
omgosh dave u got rid of ur fish? all the money i put into that fish.. gesh
-Liz
haha poor u, or poor fish, i dont know? but either way this post was hilarious, i think u should try and make up with flipper tho becuase u know that ur just going to get another fish alter, so by sticking with flipper, you would be saving urself some money! haha! Again, GREAT post!
I say bring Flipper home and make up with him. The world would be a better place if we could just learn to love one another. Peace begins at home.
By the way, how is your face?
is there something wrong with your face dave? I mean, other than the usual....?
we need to hang out when you come home for Xmas.... hope isn't quite as exciting without you.
Dub
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